This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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