im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
