Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
