i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
