Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
