I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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