at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
