what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
