I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
