You just made me feel so damn special
I have demons in me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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