I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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