The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
