I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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