part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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