She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
