Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
