I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
