on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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