so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
