Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
