my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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