It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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