yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
