Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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