I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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