I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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