I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
