I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
