U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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