Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
