I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
