wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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