I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
