areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
