i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
