I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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