I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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