Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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