I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
