And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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