anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
