Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
