Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
