i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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