And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
