i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
