Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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