he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
