Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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