i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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