He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
