Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
