We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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